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I think it's time we defibrillate this blog!

I went to see my counselor today, sometimes I am not sure if I'm getting anything out of the session but I think today was actually pretty productive. I spent most of the time talking about how unproductive I've been feeling and how impossible it seems for me to accomplish anything -- professionally and personally. I talked a lot about the long hours I work and how very taxing my job can be. I frequently get leave at 830 and do not return home until 7 or 8 after a long day of driving through traffic. I also bring my work home with me and try to motivate myself to do some work while I watch TV. Ah, TV, my other problem. If you didn't already infer from my intro, I've contracted an unhealthy addiction to Grey's Anatomy. Lifetime is trying to ruin my life by airing three episodes a night on every weekday night, they've been quite successful at it.

So my counselor gave me a couple challenges, I love when she does that, one of which is to create more balance in my life. Everyday I am to find a way to do something for myself which does not fall into the category of work or vegging. Even if I only do it for 15 minutes it counts. I have some ideas -- like reading, going for a run or bike ride, doing my short indoor work-out. But I was trying to decide what I'll do tomorrow and I was hit with an idea. I totally enjoyed last year when ya'll threw out daily activity suggestions to me during Lent (See: Me and JC). I think it would be fun to start that up again.

For this week I am going to a play on Friday and I have softball practice on Saturday. I need balance activity ideas for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday. Lay 'em on me.

The Opposite

I know, this is pretty much the same cop-out as before, just in reverse. It's gonna be a list, just of what I did do rather than what I need to do.

First an explanation. I was talking with my counselor again about my crazy inability to accomplish tasks -- prime example: I received a stipend for approximately $5,000 during my time with MATCH Corps, have I applied it to my loan yet? Nope. I tried once, but then found out I couldn't apply it to Sallie Mae (the devil incarnate) my HUGE loan. I can apply it to my CFS loan - which at around $12,000 seems like small beans, but have I done that? Nope. When did I receive the stipend? June 2005!!! How many times have I thought about applying it? More than 12,000! It gets less valuable as my interest continues to be applied.... But I digress (as usual).

Where was I? Yes, I am bad at getting things done. My counselor (whom I seem to write more and more about on here), was asking me if there is anything that I gain from this behavior or anything that I am apt to loose from abandoning it. We thought a lot. I talked about this whole idea about not being an adult, how if I did accomplish these tasks I would see myself as more of an adult -- but I honestly couldn't think of a reason why being an adult would be a bad thing. The short and end of it is that after 17 years of wondering (my first memory of seriously considering my "forgetfulness" comes in at around fourth grade) I am going to get evaluated for ADD - adult ADD, awesome, I think we all know I totally have that.

So, anyway, as part of our discussion, we talked about changing my mindset from negative nagging myself to get me to do things, to thinking positively about how good I'll feel once things are accomplished. Well, at the time I didn't think I had more negative thoughts than positive about accomplishing tasks - and then I realized - blogging my to do lists. That is definitely negative reinforcement -- I put a list out there for the world to see all that I have to accomplish, then when I don't tick off all my goals, I see myself as failing. So, The Opposite (FINALLY, THE POINT!), from now on I will blog about what I have accomplished rather than what I need to accomplish.

Today:

Work-

1) Went to office early to get new cases

2) Found out dates for kids to start toddler groups

3) Scheduled re-eval for D H-C

4) Finished progress sheets

5) Turned in mileage

6) Resolved transportation issues for 2 kids

7) Submitted consult requests for new kid

8) Called three families to give information

9) Read from Toddler's busy book

10) Followed-up on new cases

11) Printed up personal info and resources (again) for young mother

Personal

1) Called PCP office

2) Called to schedule evaluation

3) Cleaned out car

4) Read from Lamb (thanks Lei)

5) Took half hour nap (definitely an accomplishment)

6) Cleaned for half hour

6) Cooked dinner (an amazing accomplishment)

7) Made new rule for self (can only have beer and/or (and) wine if actually made food)

8) Watched netflix movie - To Sir with Love (very good)

9) Updated finances

10) Checked flights for wedding and set up fare tracking (farecast.com -- wonderful)

11) Gathered prescriptions to be picked up (this has been put off since summer)

12) Added social events to planner.

13) Updated Blog - meager though it is.

That's a lot. I'm proud. More to come...