Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Rashes, rashes

The oils from citrus fruits can enhance the effect of the sun on your skin; that is, result in a major sun burn that will take “a couple of months to go away;” i.e. “here’s some Hydrocortisone cream.”

This means that you may wake up one morning, days after basking yourself in the southern Californie sun, with an unchanging, non-irritating rash on your stomach. This is because, while you were locked out of your parents’ house one warm afternoon, you decided to take off most of your clothes and take in as much of the glorious, glorious light and warmth mmm of the sun as you were able. Well, hey, why not enjoy a delicious lemon while you wait, since there’s a tree right next to you. And no, don’t get up while you peel it, give in to the effects of the refreshing beer(s) with which you’ve been whiling the time and stay down, peeling said lemon(s) riiiiight over your belly. And a few days after you discover this rash, classic of classics, you’ll go to your university’s student health center to see about this strange rash that you got over spring break…

The point is that now I’m watching “The Enforcer,” a riveting cinematic account of a district attorney contending against sudden drastic odds in order to deliver justice to a rampaging, homicidal crime boss, and The Boston Story will, will! thereafter ensue. Anecdotes will include the amazing tiger-zebra chronicle, a magical man named Samuel Adams, the f-ing green line, and and and too many more to name, including reveling in the bodacious Melanie & Rachel abode and fiiiiiiinally meeting such well-loved names as Becka and Anastasia, soooo: to be continued because here's lookin' at Smiley right now (must get the most out of my Netflix money).


  1. Oooo belly rash :-( At our housewarming party this past August I made jalapeño poppers and decided that, as it was hot, I should cut and scoop out all the seeds of the 20 peppers without a shirt on... because I could just wash the juice off my stomach... and why do people always say "wear gloves" while cutting jalapeños?

    Well, toward the end of the party I started to sweat, opening up my pores, and suddenly (as the wine wore off) my stomach felt like it was ON FIRE... and my hand BURN BABY BURNed to the extent that I had to soak it in cold water for two hours.

    I feel your pain, AMDG. Except that it sounds like you don't have the pain, just the rash, while I had no rash, just the Kid Krusader wondering what was wrong with me tossing water on my tummy.

  2. That must have been quite traumatic. It's unlikely that any of the other partygoers would have been sympathetic. Some might find it difficut to relate to that kind of situation. Also, hilarious visual. One hand in a jar of water, the other pouring water on yourself, Melanie wondering when her girlfriend turned into a wet t-shirt contest kind of girl.
    And that's nice of you, Rachel, but we all know that it was Melanie's idea for you to take off your shirt, "because it's hot...and...you should take off your shirt so it doesn't get dirty..." Oh please, don't deny this, Mel. We're of the same school, we have similar game.

  3. Muuuuaahhahhahahahahahahahahahhahahah! Now that us funny!

  4. No Duh? Oh no, I said that to Rachel once when I was drunk. Well P, I for one, had no idea. And knowing myself would have come to the same logical conclusion you did. Pool, so cal, lemon tree, beer, lounging chair. No other logical conclusion to come to.

    And yes, Rachel has great abs, I'm always trying to come up with ways to get her to take her shirt off ;).